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The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating

The Monogamy Gap Men Love and the Reality of Cheating Whether straight or gay most men start their relationships desiring monogamy This is rooted in the pervasive notion that monogamy exists as a sign of true love Yet despite this deeply held cultural i

  • Title: The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating
  • Author: Eric Anderson
  • ISBN: 9780199777921
  • Page: 149
  • Format: Hardcover
  • Whether straight or gay, most men start their relationships desiring monogamy This is rooted in the pervasive notion that monogamy exists as a sign of true love Yet despite this deeply held cultural ideal, cheating remains rampant In this accessible book, Eric Anderson investigates why 78% of men he interviewed have cheated despite their desire not to.Combining 120 inteWhether straight or gay, most men start their relationships desiring monogamy This is rooted in the pervasive notion that monogamy exists as a sign of true love Yet despite this deeply held cultural ideal, cheating remains rampant In this accessible book, Eric Anderson investigates why 78% of men he interviewed have cheated despite their desire not to.Combining 120 interviews with research from the fields of sociology, biology, and psychology, Anderson identifies cheating as a product of wanting emotional passion for one s partner, along with a steadily growing desire for emotionally detached recreational sex with others Anderson coins the term the monogamy gap to describe this phenomenon.Anderson suggests that monogamy is an irrational ideal because it fails to fulfil a lifetime of sexual desires Cheating therefore becomes the rational response to an irrational situation.The Monogamy Gap draws on a range of concepts, theories, and disciplines to highlight the biological compulsion of our sexual urges, the social construction of the monogamous ideal, and the devastating chasm that lies between them Whether single or married, monogamous or open, straight or gay, readers will find The Monogamy Gap to be an enlightening, intellectually compelling, and provocative book.

    • The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating by Eric Anderson
      149 Eric Anderson
    • thumbnail Title: The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating by Eric Anderson
      Posted by:Eric Anderson
      Published :2019-04-12T21:09:12+00:00

    About "Eric Anderson"

    1. Eric Anderson

      Eric Anderson is Professor of Sport, Masculinities and Sexualities at the University of Winchester, UK He holds four degrees, has published 17 books, over 60 peer reviewed articles, and is regularly featured in international television, print, and digital media Professor Anderson is recognized for research excellence by the British Academy of Social Sciences and is a fellow of the International Academy of Sex Research His work shows a decline in cultural homohysteria and promotes inclusive attitudes toward openly gay, lesbian and bisexual athletes as well as a softening of heterosexual masculinities.

    671 Comments

    1. I saw this on the shelf at the Harvard Science Library. It looked at least least entertainingly provocative, so I figured I'd give it a skim. Provocative it certainly is. But scientific, not so much. This might be the shoddiest example of social science I have ever encountered.The author, who is a sociologist, wants to explain that men (and maybe people of all gender) have a "bodily urge" towards promiscuity and that monogamy is inevitably a bad fit for most people, because, duh, the sex gets bo [...]


    2. If there is one thing I can say about Eric Anderson's research it would be that it is unscientific. Anderson describes himself as a "qualitative researcher" but really lacks any skills that would make his research credible. He employs multiple qualitative methodologies for one study, which, if you know anything about research, degrades the rigour and validity of the research. He goes from a phenomenological perspective, to a grounded theory perspective, to an ethnographic/participant observation [...]


    3. I appreciate Anderson's desire to reach a larger audience but as an academic myself I didn't appreciate the simplification of some really complex theory. But my larger point is Anderson's excusing of cheating. As someone who is polyamorous I absolutely recognize problems with monogamy, especially in longer term relationships. But I disagree completely with the idea that the natural diminution of sexual excitement is the same as losing sexual desire all together. And I find REALLY objectionable h [...]



    4. A gay man's critique of monogamy which he argues is hegemonic and oppressive to the point where cheating is a rational, albeit imperfect, response to an irrational situation.An interesting, perhaps somewhat one-sided but also original, investigation of the subject where he interviews young men, both heterosexual and homosexual (university athletes) in relationships who have ample opportunity to cheat, who mostly do cheat despite wanting a monogamous relationship with their romantic partners (mai [...]


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