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Wondering Who You Are: A Memoir

Wondering Who You Are A Memoir In the twenty third year of their marriage Sonya Lea s husband Richard went in for surgery to treat a rare appendix cancer When he came out he had no recollection of their life together how they m

  • Title: Wondering Who You Are: A Memoir
  • Author: Sonya Lea
  • ISBN: 9789410400
  • Page: 199
  • Format: Paperback
  • In the twenty third year of their marriage, Sonya Lea s husband, Richard, went in for surgery to treat a rare appendix cancer When he came out, he had no recollection of their life together how they met, their wedding day, the births of their two children All of it was gone, along with the rockier parts of their past her drinking, his anger Richard could now hardly speIn the twenty third year of their marriage, Sonya Lea s husband, Richard, went in for surgery to treat a rare appendix cancer When he came out, he had no recollection of their life together how they met, their wedding day, the births of their two children All of it was gone, along with the rockier parts of their past her drinking, his anger Richard could now hardly speak, emote, or create memories from moment to moment Who he d been no longer was.Wondering Who You Are braids the story of Sonya and Richard s relationship, those memories that he could no longer conjure, with an account of his fateful days in the hospital the internal bleeding, the near death experience, and the eventual traumatic brain injury It follows the couple through his recovery as they struggle with his treatment, and through a marriage no longer grounded on decades of shared experience As they build a fresh life together, as Richard develops a new personality, Sonya is forced to question her own assumptions, beliefs, and desires, her place in the marriage and her way of being in the world With radical candor, Sonya Lea has written a memoir that is both a powerful look at perseverance in the face of trauma and a surprising exploration into what lies beyond our fragile identities.

    • Wondering Who You Are: A Memoir by Sonya Lea
      199 Sonya Lea
    • thumbnail Title: Wondering Who You Are: A Memoir by Sonya Lea
      Posted by:Sonya Lea
      Published :2019-09-11T21:39:10+00:00

    About "Sonya Lea"

    1. Sonya Lea

      Sonya Lea s memoir, Wondering Who You Are is a finalist for the Washington State Book Award, and has garnered praise in Oprah Magazine, People, and the BBC, who named it a top ten book Her essays have appeared in Salon, The Southern Review, Brevity, Guernica, Cold Mountain Review, The Prentice Hall College Reader, Good Housekeeping, The Los Angeles Book Review, The Rumpus, The Butter and Lea teaches at Hugo House in Seattle, and to women veterans through the Red Badge Project Her short film, EVERY BEAUTIFUL THING, won two awards for direction and several awards for score She lives in Seattle and the Canadian Rockies Find her at wonderingwhoyouare Sonya Lea tells her extraordinary story extraordinarily well She has a rare ability to bring readers to the places where love and sex intermingle, collide, or go their separate ways Wondering Who You Are is an amazing accomplishment Every page sparkles with wisdom, candor, insight, and love CHRISTOPHER RYAN, author of Sex At Dawn How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

    431 Comments

    1. DNF @ page 235I'm sorry but I can't force myself to read this. That's the opposite of what reading should be. I wasn't very much into this when I started it & I guess the feeling never left me, because here I am, giving up when I can finally see the end. I feel like memoirs are supposed to make you feel something & this one just missed the point for me, mainly because the writing style wasn't that good. The author talks & talks about how she's always writing but she failed at conveyi [...]


    2. Sonya Lea is a fabulous writer with an honest and subversive message, and Wondering Who I Am is a great read. Lea’s command of the medical specialists, medical centers, tests, drugs etc of traumatic brain injury, some of which are further elaborated on in the Notes section, makes this also an invaluable resource for anyone facing memory loss in themselves or a loved one. Wondering Who I Am is equal parts love story and medical nightmare. The two narratives are intertwined through the first pa [...]


    3. Beautiful, honest, and heartbreaking. Sonya Lea bares her very soul in this memoir. We've all seen rom-coms like "The Vow" that explore memory loss and relationships, but Lea's story is so incontrovertibly honest; it automatically is set apart. Lea must grapple with the loss of a life- though no one physically dies. Rather, Lea's husband Richard suffers a brain injury after surviving a risky cancer treatment that ultimately erases his memories. He must struggle with the physical recovery after t [...]


    4. How brave and skilled do you have to be to write a book this good, this intimate, this honest, and this engaging? Very! The tale begins at the start of Lea’s romance with Richard when they were teens in Canada and goes through their marriage, childrearing, his illness his recovery, her recovery, and their recovery. It’s a story of acceptance, truth-telling, compassion, and growth. I can’t put it down, and, yet, every time that I do, I gain new insight into my own marriage and my understand [...]


    5. This was probably one of the crappiest books I've read in awhile. I'm not sure there are many people whose memoirs I've read who were more dislikable to me than Sonya Lea. She's lived a life of addiction, whining, and "trying to find herself." I would say she is one big walking stereotype with the meditation, the Chinese medicine, the meditation and Buddhism with a sprinkling of prayers to God. Really, I couldn't stop reading because I was interested in the medical aspects of her husband who she [...]


    6. Mixed reaction to this book. The story about surviving a rare, aggressive cancer and the added tragedy of a life changing brain injury was remarkable. The roller coaster experience of those closest to such a situation was challenging and difficult. I was taken aback by some of the things that did happen and certainly don't understand the extreme actions taken by the author. Tedious and repetitious at times. However the sense of devastating loss and the gradual realization of a new reality was we [...]


    7. So excellent. I am proud to call this woman "friend" and recognize the parts of her story that occurred over the past 15 years of our acquaintance. Sonya Lea writes from that part of the heart that people often call fearless, but is actually built in a cave of fear, and, instead, should be called the bravery of working and breaking through the fear. I can only imagine what the actual oh-fuck thoughts and emotions were as this type of honesty and recreation was being put on the page and into the [...]


    8. This book appealed to me because of the medical aspect of the story: her husband losing his memory due to a medical procedure. I have a weakness for medical memoirs, as well as for amnesia stories, so this appealed to me from the start. What I hadn't counted on, but was pleasantly surprised by, was the author's deep soul-searching reflections on the nature of her relationship with her husband as well as personal identity (i.e. how memories make and shape us as people). While there were some thin [...]



    9. When I started listening I thought this was going to be five stars, as I love author- narrated books. In the first half chapters alternate between past and present to fill in the back story of how Sonia & Richard met. The current strand of story then follows Richard's cancer diagnosis, treatment and memory loss following incorrect after-care at hospital. This is moving and personal, and it is amazing to hear how they coped. I also found Sonia was willing to share the bad times with the liste [...]


    10. Sonya Lea's "Wondering Who You Are" is a revelation. It's drama and suspense kept me up late into the night - finding it hard not to turn the next page. Sprinkled with vivid stories and just the right amount of humor, "Wondering Who You Are" is also highly entertaining - a story that had me, at times, shaking my head in disbelief at the trials and tribulations Sonya and Richard experienced. The bold lessons Sonya teaches us through her husband's traumatic brain injury and her own search for mean [...]


    11. Finally finished this amazing book. It took me a bit longer than usual for something I enjoyed but I think it was because I was so interested in every detail, so I just let it soak in a bit more. Having been chronically ill, it was very interesting for me to see a illness from the caregiver side. Although I did not have a partner who was with me daily, I had a number of friends and loved ones that propped me up constantly and I know that at times the toll was greater on them than it was on me. T [...]


    12. While this was a reasonably well-written memoir, it felt consistently morally questionable (at best) and reprehensible (at worst) to me. This was mainly because Lea is telling the story of (and profiting from) her husband's medical mishap that resulted in his severe brain injury, while claiming that he has given his consent to tell 'his' story. Really? By the time I got to the part about her sexual explorations into affairs/ polyamory--again, supposedly with her husband's 'consent,'--I was done [...]


    13. This fast paced memoir has everything: love, conflict, near death, loss, family, sex, recovery, and shifting identities set against a broad and varied landscape, from as far away as the Ganges River in India to as close as our own hearts and minds. Sonya Lea's command of language is as impressive as it is beautiful. Her candor is refreshing, her self-reflection courageous. I found myself caught up and expertly carried by her superb story telling. Wondering Who You Are is a riveting tale magnific [...]


    14. Bare, beautiful and full of truth about the difficulties of marriage, art and disability, Sonya Lea has done something lovely with "Wondering Who You Are." It is the story of a woman who has one marriage but two husbands, one a charming confident man lost to a cruel act of fate, the other the gentle "wonderer" who comes to occupy his mind and body after the loss. Readers who wept and nodded along with "The Glass Castle" and "Drinking: A Love Story" rejoice; You have found your next book.


    15. What would you do if the person you vowed to love for the rest of your life changed into a complete stranger? While there are some out there who don't take their vows very seriously, there are many who do. Sonya Lea is one of the latter. Wondering Who You are is an unflinching look into a twenty three year marriage that has been reset, so to speak. I received a free copy of this book through a giveaway.


    16. I received this book from as a contest winner. I really enjoyed this touching memoir. It was so well written that I felt as if I was going through this journey with the author and her husband and family. It really shows what can happen to a family that is torn by a tragic happening in their lives, and how they can get through it together.


    17. Wondering Who You Are is a memoir about not remembering, and about memory. It is a heartbreaking description of loss, and a meditation about anger, sorrow, and acceptance. In recognizing how much of our experience is interpretation, the author comes to a place of "finding strength in what remains behind" in a way that feels real, not pat.


    18. What a sad, thought-provoking memoir. Sonya writes about her journey after her husband survives a hideous cancer, only to awaken with a total loss of memory. By following her (and her husband's) lives in this new, uncertain world there are so many opportunities to reflect on our own lives, identities, and relationships. Inspiring.


    19. Beautiful and honest. I continuously marveled at the author's willingness to "go deep" and be vulnerable. I so appreciated her words and will take them with me, incorporating many of her insights into my own mindfulness life practice.




    20. Lea's book was about difficult subject matter, a virulent form of cancer and a traumatic brain injury.She presents the subject matter in a too clinical format. It was one that never really allowed me to connect with the characters. Although I empathized with them due to the severe nature of the husband's health issues, it was as though the author had you observing from a distance rather than intimately engaging in their lives. It would have been more powerful if the emphasis had been more upon t [...]


    21. This book was choppy and repetitive in several parts. The story was worth reading and had an interesting topic, but I found myself losing interest about 1/3 the way through and fought to finish. There are several well-written passages, the author's writing style is pronounced, but the subject matter is sleepy. Should have been condensed to 200 pages at best.


    22. Amazing, crazy, relatable. A woman and her husband have their lives upturned when the husband's cancer diagnosis leads to an experimental treatment and a subsequent anoxic brain injury that changes their lives forever.


    23. I was so excited to read this and I was expecting more from this BUT I keep reminding myself this is a memoir so it's not like the author could've changed her experiences or her life.




    24. "Our stories do not emerge exactly the way that they happened. They are pieces, collages, mosaics, found objects, assemblages." Although a difficult read, this was so valuable to me shed light on the resilience of those who continue to move forward despite the stumbling blocks and chasms that are presented in their pathsever determined to make the very best of this life that we are blessed with.


    25. When I was a tween, I had a generalized tonic-clonic seizure. It's bookended by flashbulb memories: one of sitting down to play a video game and the other of waking up and the sinking realization that I had lost at least half an hour of time -- that apparently before the seizure, I'd been acting perfectly normally for at least thirty minutes after the last thing I remember. Tweendom is a pretty existential time at the best of times, so I doubt it's very surprising to say that this experience lef [...]


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